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Intelligent
Sardarji!!!????
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two
large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says,"What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered the sardarji. Iqbal says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart;he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardaji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, lifts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, "What have you got?
"Sand," says the Sardaji. Iqbal does his thorough examination and
discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the sardaji, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the sardaji, doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a 'dhaba' in Islamabad. Hey, Buddy," says Iqbal, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me,what are you smuggling?"
The sardaji sips his Lassi and says, "Bikes."
* Why can't Sardar dial 911?
* They can not find the eleven on the phone
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* How do you get Sardar on the roof?
* Tell him the drinks are on the house.
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* "Oh, look at the dead bird."
* Sardar looked skyward and said "Where,Where?
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* One day a sardar is walking on the road. He sees a piece of shit.
He bends down........dips a finger and tastes it........."Yuk! ! It's shit!!!
* ".........then he moves on thinking
"Good,I din't step on it"
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* What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
* You always hear about them but you never see them.
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* Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman
as opposed to a regular one?
* You have to hollow out the head.
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* TO LOSE WEIGHT.. The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.........
* "What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
* "I'm 2400 kms from home."
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* TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
* Sardars Hari Singh and Gyani Singh are in a railway
station.
* Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train
to Ludhiana? "
* "No," answers the Railway man.
* "Can I? " asks Gani Singh.
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* A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when
the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai
cinema hi to hai"
* Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,pata
hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
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* Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway
tracks and he takes
* along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho? "
* Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai
kahin bhook se na marjaun"
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* Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train.
He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber,and he felt that for 20 rupees, the * sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home.
Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter? "
* Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20
rupees and woken up someone else"
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* Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his
knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
* The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing
to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too."
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* Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the
birth certificate
"Mother:Sikh.........Father:Sikh..........Kid:Chinese."
* "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
Sikh? "
* "Aah" said Sardarji " I read in a newspaper, that
every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
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* Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent
to the outer space.
The * ground control issues commands..........
* Ground control : "Rubi!"
* Rubi : "Woof!" (its the barking sound)
* Ground control : "Press the red button."
* Rubi : "Woof! Woof! "
* Ground control : "
Moti! "
* Moti : "Woof! "
* Ground control : "Press the white button."
* Moti : " Woof! "
* Ground control : "
Sardarji! "
* Sardarji : "Woof. "
* Ground control : " Stop barking, feed the dogs and
don't touch anything! "
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Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has
a Clock Tower when someone asks him........
* " You want to buy the clock on the Tower "
* Sardarji says "Yes".
* "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
* The man took the thousand and disappeared.
Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was
taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji * is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him..........
* "You want to buy the clock."
* Sardarji says " Yes "
* "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am nota fool.
This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
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* DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
* Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay.
They managed to get into a * double-decker bus.
Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But
unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs
to see friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
Santa Singh : "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's
goin' on?
Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
* Banta Singh : "Yeah, but you've got a driver.*"
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* Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears
and he answered........
* Sardarji:"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang
- but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally
picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
The doctor exclaimed in disbelief : " Oh Dear!
......But what happened to your other ear?"
Sardarji : "The scoundrel called back."
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Top
5 Telegrams
TELEGRAM
#1
A daughter
sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the
father receives as :
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
TELEGRAM
#2
A husband,
while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to
his wife :
"I wish you were here." The message received by wife:
"I wish you were her."
TELEGRAM
#3
A wife with
near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At
the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.
Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her
berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached
as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an
old lady."
TELEGRAM
#4
A man wants
to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a
birthday cake.The salesman asks him what message he wants put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says: let's put, "you are not getting
older you are getting better". The salesman asks "how do you want
me to put it?" The man says, Well put "You are not getting
older", at the top and "You are getting better" at the
bottom. The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party
watched the message decorated on the cake:
"You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the
bottom".
TELEGRAM
#5
A man from
Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent's house in Delhi. When the
man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife
indicating about his trip to Ajmer. He sent a telegram. When the wife
received the telegram, she fainted. It was written:
"Sethji aaj mar gaye !"
(Sethji Ajmer gaye)
(Courtesy
: Salil Naik, UAE)
.Quotes
to Ponder
“Fish
and guests stink after two days”
--------
Proverb.
“Unwillingness
easily finds an excuse”
---------
Benjamin
Franklin
“Experience
is the name everyone gives to his mistakes”
--------
Woodrow Wilson.
..............................................................................................................
Laughter
is the best medicine
Keep
the engine running. This 80 year old man marries a 20 year old woman. The
following year she is in the hospital having their first child. The nurse
comes and says to the man, “sir how do you do it at your age?” He
replies,”I just keep the motor running. The following year she gives birth
to the second child and again the nurse asks him “amazing how do you do
it?” He just looks at her and says,” I just keep the motor running.”
The third year she is having their third child and again the nurse comes out
and asks the husband,” I know you keep the motor running.” He says,
“Yes I do.” The nurse looks at him and says, ”You better change the
oil – it’s black!
A
woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she
says,” I have no idea what number to play.” A young, good looking man
nearby suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on
No 32. The wheel is spun and the No 41 comes up. The smile drifted from the
woman’s face and she fainted.
When do you
know that an Afghan boy matures?
When he takes off his
diaper and puts it on his head.
I am a
killer. I will kill people for money
But because you
are my friend I will kill you for nothing.
Two sperms
are swimming really hard
and one asks, “ Are we almost at the uterus?”
“Nah! Says the other, “we just passed the tonsil”.
Survey
reveals every woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men
at the same time-one
cleaning and one cooking.
A
prostitute goes to deposit a $ 100 bill in a bank. The teller says, “Sorry
, madam, the note
is fake”
“Oh my God!” exclaimed the
prostitute, “I have been raped”.
I came to
talk about my taxes.”
Okay, start lying.
You can’t
judge her by her clothes
--she doesn’t have enough evidence.
A woman
gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out off hospital bed and
slapped her husband and shouted, “I told you not
to go doggy style”.
A gang
decided to rob the bank,
They opened every vault but found no money, only a
cup of yoghurt
So they ate it all. Morning headline,
“Biggest sperm bank robbed”.
What is
common between a swimming pool and a wife
for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
Man on
business trip. Every week he wired his wife, “Busy, still buying “.
At the end of six weeks she wires her husband, “Come home before I selling
What I think you are buying”.
What is
virginity?
It’s
not dignity. It is lack of opportunity.
Whoever first
said that “A dog is man’s best friend” had never seen a pussy before.
Sher ki
shaadi ke baraat mein sab sheron ke beech ek chuha naach raha tha.
Usse puchha, “Aap yahan kaise?” Chuha bola, “Shadi se pahle hum bhi
sher hua karte the.”
Once a man is
carrying 4 babies in a train. A
lady says ‘cute babies’ are these yours?
He says, ‘no mam I work
in a condom factory. These are customer complaints’!
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Off
the Cuff
Banta
Singh : Everybody
talks of Albert Einsteins’s theory of relativity ?
Kanta
Singh : It
is simple yaar. Sit next
to a pretty chic for an hour, it seems like a minute. Sit on a red hot stove for a minute, it seem like an hour. That’s
relativity.
Banta
Singh : So its all about sitting !
Officer:
Was any big man born in this village?
Villager:
No Sir. Here only a
child is born everytime!
Kanta
Singh: Did you slap me seriously or just for fun ?
Banta
Singh: Seriously.
Kanta
Singh: Then it is okay. I hate
fun.
Passenger: Stop the bus, a passenger has fallen off.
Conductor: It’s okay. He has
already bought the ticket.
Officer:
Did you catch the thief?
Cop: No Sir, but I got this finger prints.
Officer:
Where?
Cop: On my cheek!
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Silly
Point 
